Worst dressed at the Golden Globes: jolly poor show from the Brits

eddie redmayne

Argh, I hate this dress so much! So you are on the arm of your gorgeous new husband (the ever-dapper Eddie Redmayne in velvet Gucci) on the biggest night of his career so far, as he wins the Best Actor Globe for The Theory of Everything, and what do you wear? A plain dress the colour of something that would come out of a slurry pipe. I don’t understand Hannah Bagshawe’s thought process. Maybe she didn’t want to draw attention away from her husband, but she’s done that anyway with the hideous colour. I can’t find who designed this. Shrek?

keira

What the hell is this? It’s by Chanel and it allegedly took 30 people to make, which lends weight to the idiom “too many cooks spoil the broth.” Or, “too many seamstresses frump the dress”. Keira Knightley looks like an Edwardian lady on a day out at the beach, in fact the outfit looks incomplete without an accompanying frilly parasol.

rosamund

Rosamund Pike is such a sultry, patrician beauty that she just doesn’t suit showing this much skin. Some comments have complained of her “untoned” body, but she only gave birth five weeks ago and I find her soft, womanly body a welcome change from all the Hollywood bodies the colour and hardness of a walnut, so skinny you can see the shape of every muscle and sinew. Her boobs are pert for their size, it’s just that every other red carpet-er has serious tape and structured tailoring going on up top and she doesn’t seem to. The problem is that the Vera Wang gown doesn’t fit properly.

lana

Fashion pundits have called Lana Del Rey’s vintage Travilla dress “70s mermaid” but that makes it sound a hell of a lot cooler than it is. Questionable colour and a nasty fabric.

claire danes

Claire Danes in Valentino. I don’t like the mixture of sheer with a heavy floral fabric that looks as though it has been sourced from the dusty curtains of a haunted house.

ruth

Ruth Wilson in Prada. Is it inside out? But that would not explain the troubling blue and green clash.

Emily Blunt and Kate Beckinsale looked stunning as always, and I can appreciate Sienna Miller’s dress although I’m not a fan of showing your breastbone, but most of the other British ladies looked a bloody fright in ill-fitting and/or ill-conceived gowns. Shame.

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