The first quarter final of Masterchef was on tonight and it all got a bit highly strung: Danny had over-salted his curry and was flapping around wailing “It’s too salty, it’s too salty!” Meanwhile Robert was throwing a wobbler over the compromising of his artistic vision in the palette test and someone had lost half their sauce. To which John Torode replied with the least genuine “Oh no” ever, while inwardly licking his lips for the added culinary peril. For the second test, a food critic was parachuted in to offer his appraisal on the contestants. Not literally unfortunately. The critic was understandably alarmed by Greg’s black and white ravioli and dared to offer lisping flavour maestro Robert a critique, which went down about as well as Nigel Farage at the passport office. Ah I like Robert though, he looked as though it meant the world to him to get through (with Danny) to the semi final. He obviously really cares about what he’s doing. A lisping lindy hop dance instructor with a dark side if you ever insult his resurrected retro recipes. And this is why I enjoy Masterchef.