BAFTAs 2014

I only have a few things to say about this show. Firstly, the nation’s wise owl of a great-uncle, Stephen Fry, was a bit waffly and cringeworthy as a presenter. He does the affable, frightfully, frightfully clever posh chap bit so well but I feel like I’ve seen enough of it. He’s always on TV, presenting QI, award shows, tech shows… I feel like I need Ray Winstone on TV more just to counteract the poshness.

It was a good turnout, but no Benedict Cumbersnatch??!! (It’s almost superfluous to parody his name seeing as it already exists in a space beyond parody, but I can’t resist… Incidentally Cumbersnatch has had his place on the throne of “Most Dickensian Name in a Modern Context” usurped- in my eyes- by the writer Theodore Dalrymple. Sorry, Ben.) Eddie Redmayne, the Fassbender, Bradley Cooper were all in attendance so the hot quotient was pretty good. No sign of my newest crush, though – Tom Hiddlestone- unfortunately.

I thought the dresses were a bit boring, none really stuck out. Lupita Nyong’o looked stylish as always in Christian Dior jade green silk, but that just highlighted how dull the other choices were- mostly black and white. Helen McCrory looked far too thin in her lace dress. Lupita looked annoyed to miss out on Best Supporting Actress to Jennifer Lawrence. Angelina Jolie is starting to look a bit unreal, she looks like she’s been photo-shopped in real life.

12 Years A Slave won Best Film and Chiwetel Ejiofor Best Actor, naturally. Gravity also did well, the film having been claimed by us for the fact the director is based in London and the company responsible for the special effects is British.

The show made me wish I had seen any of the films lauded, but in my current predicament, £12 for an hour and a half of entertainment is not economically viable. I’ll just wait for the DVDs then I suppose.

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